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Hot Buttered Ed/Script
Eds are in a tent in a backyard at night. Eddy: "Ed! Quit hoggin' 'em, Ed!" Ed: "Say pretty please, Eddy!" Eddy: "In your dreams." Ed: "Say 'pretty please with two eggs and a slice of bacon.'" Eddy: "Gimme the chips!" Edd: "Do you mind? I'm trying to read!" Eddy: "Wait for the movie Double D. C'mon, Ed, I'm starving!" bag rips, and chips fall all over the place. Edd: the chips fall "Oh, look at this now! Dried potatoes, that may contain dextrose salt and saturated fats all over my sleeping bag!" Eddy: snickering "Double D made a mess in his sleeping bag, Ed!" Ed: laughs, then stops. "Hey, let's bake a pie and hit me with it!" shines the flashlight at him. Eddy: "Doctor, I think we need to operate." snickers. Edd: giggling ''"Oh, I concur, Doctor Eddy." '''Eddy:' "Hold still, Lumpy!" fingers pinch Ed's shadow. "Boink! Boink!" Ed: "I feel it, Eddy! Like voodoo." Eddy: "Boink!" and Edd laugh. Edd: "May I try?" Eddy: "Sure, why not." Edd: a shadow puppet "Did you know shadow puppetry is one of the oldest forms of entertainment?" has made a dinosaur skeleton. Ed: "Like walnuts?" his fingers "Can you guess what it is?" holds up his hand. Eddy: "Hmm. Gee, Ed. Is it a–''hand?" '''Ed:' "Oh! Oh oh, wait wait. Um..." hand is the shadow on the tent. "I think it's broken, guys." Eddy: "What a lump!" Edd: "Well, at least he's consistent." and Eddy share a laugh. Jimmy: "Excuse me!" is calling from his bedroom window. "Do you mind holding it down out there? Some of us are trying to sleep!" develops a mischievous smirk. Edd: "Shh! We're disturbing our neighbors, Eddy!" Eddy: "Oh, are we?" makes armpit noises with his armpits, and he and Ed laugh. Edd: "Eddy, please!" Jimmy: "Savages." slams his window and goes back to bed. Edd: coaxing "Eddy! Shh!" and Eddy still make armpit noises throughout the night ---- is morning, and the Eds are fast asleep. Eddy wakes up for a few seconds and rolls over. He then goes back to sleep for a few seconds more. He then sits up, unzips the tent, and looks outside. Eddy: "Wake up! We slept in!" Edd: "Slept in? Oh dear! I've never slept in! I've blemished my personal resume!" Eddy: is still snoozing "Ed, wake up! We gotta get to the creek or we'll lose our spot at the swimming hole!" Ed: up "Oh, no, spot is lost! Say it ain't so, Eddy!" runs out of the tent. Edd is rolling up his sleeping bag. Eddy: "Ed, this way! Hurry up, Sockhead." runs in the opposite direction. Edd: "But I haven't brushed my teeth or had my crumpet or–" runs into him, tentclad. Ed: "Here, Spot! Come on, boy!" ---- hustling, strips off his shirt. Edd follows, changing out of his pjs as he runs. Edd: "Ed, you're not listening! The spot by the creek!" Ed: "Spot's by the creek, Eddy!" ---- Eds rush down to the creek, where the kids are playing. Eddy: "Tell me something I don't know, Ed." Nazz: the Eds run by "Hi, Eddy. Hi, Double D." Ed: "Hello, Ed." Eddy: the spot "I see it! I see it! And it's all ours! Oh, baby!" dives for it. Kevin, carrying a towel, gets in the way and elbows Eddy into the water. He then spreads out his towel in the spot Eddy had picked for himself. Kevin: "Didn't see you there, pal." Eddy: Kevin's leg "That's our spot!" Kevin: "I don't see your name on it, dork." kicks Eddy off. Ed: "I got him, Double D, I got him!" catches Eddy. Edd: "The swimming area's large enough to accommodate us all, Eddy. Let me find you a better spot." Eddy: grousing "Kevin stole the better spot!" Ed: "I got him, Double D, I got him!" runs off. Eddy: "Ed!" ---- and Jimmy are playing in the sand. Nazz walks to the water's edge and dips a toe in. Rolf: out on a beach ball "Bada boom! Ha ha ha ha! Do not ask Rolf to stop!" Eddy: a rocky, undesirable area "Nice spot, Double D. Is there something on my back?" Eddy's back are wedged many rocks, a stick, and a soda can. Edd: "This isn't oh so bad, Eddy. Let's stay all day. Oooch." Ed: "Oink, oink, oink." has placed two giant leaves around his neck and has a branch sticking out of the rear of his underpants. "Oink, oink, oink." shoots his tongue out three times. "I am a lizard! Oink, oink, oink." Edd: through his bag "Well, Ed's lack of sleep is evident." pulls out a microscope. Eddy: "This spot stinks! There's rocks, garbage, and bugs everywhere!" Edd: "Not to mention the lack of shade. Boy, is it hot!" continues to hunt through the bag. Eddy: "C'mon, let's get out of here." Edd: "Oh dear. It can't be!" drops the bag. "I forgot my sunscreen! I'm so vulnerable. I can feel my flesh tighten. The stinging of the ultraviolet rays! Eddy, Kevin stole our spot." Eddy: "Man, it's like a merry-go-round. That's exactly what I said twenty pages ago!" Edd: "But Eddy, look at him. He looks so comfortable." Eddy: "Let's put a stamp on his head and mail him to Hollywood." Edd: "Too inhumane, Eddy. In chess, in order to position oneself, one must first go through the pawns." camera scans the beach and settles on Sarah and Jimmy, who are making a sand unicorn. Sarah: "It just needs a ribbon, Jimmy, and it'll be perfect!" goes off to get one. Jimmy: the sand into shape "Unicorns are my specialty." Ed: "Look at me!" is riding the unicorn. "Giddy-up, mutant horse!" Jimmy: "No, Ed! Unicorns are sensitive!" Ed: "P'shaw!" throws Jimmy on his back and rides. Jimmy: "Aah! My tummy!" vigorous riding knocks the sand off the unicorn, destroying it. "I feel queasy." Sarah: "Ed! Put him down!" throws Jimmy off, and Eddy enters. Eddy: "Hi, Jimmy, wanna play a game?" Jimmy: quavering "Eddy?" Sarah: "It's bonehead time." Eddy: "Ever play 'Splish Splash In a Bath?'" Ed: "I have!" Eddy: aback "You–you have?" Ed: "Splish splash, take a bath!" throws Eddy into the lake. Eddy skips like a stone until he hits a tree growing in the water. The tree tips and both it and Eddy sink. Rolf: "Bravo, Ed-boy. A fine toss." he and Nazz clap. Ed: "I did a four-splasher! A new splish-splash record." Sarah: "Look out! I can beat your stupid record." shoves him into the lake. Jimmy: the hot sand "Ow! Eee! Ooh! Hot! Calluses!" Edd: book on his head "Excuse me, Jimmy. You wouldn't happen to have any more sunscreen, would you?" beach toys go sailing over Edd's head. Eddy: "What're you waiting for, guys? is seen tossing the beach equipment. ''Looks like the twerps abandoned their spot! We're one small step to one giant leap from kicking Kevin out of our spot!" '''Kevin:' "Ha! Good luck, Beach Blanket Dorko!" inflates an air mattress in the desired spot, sending a soda flying onto Eddy's head. Ed: "Are you going to finish that?" Eddy: "Gimme back my spot, Kevin!" Sarah: "Hey! Get out of our spot!" Eddy: "You and who's army?" Edd: "You'd think you would've learned by now, Eddy." Sarah: "AAAH!!!" attacks, and the three Eds fly into the water. Edd: cooled "Ooh! That worked nicely." Eddy: the empty spot "Double D, check it out! Our spot's empty! Quick, let's grab it before–" Kevin: the mattress across the water "I get back?" rides onto the beach and lands in his spot. Edd: "Excuse me, Eddy, but I need to revisit the sun issue?" Eddy: "You're like a broken record, Double D. Geez." Edd: "Our being surrounded by water seems to be magnifying those ultraviolet rays I told you about earlier, my skin's becoming quite sensitive, Eddy!" Eddy: "Yap yap yap." a shadow passes in front of the sun. Edd: "Look, it's an eclipse of the sun!" Ed: "That's Jonny's head, Double D." is sitting on top of the cliff. Eddy: "What's he doing up there?" an idea "Hey, check it out! If we had Jonny's spot, we could keep an eye on my spot!" Edd: "At that elevation, it must have a cooling cross-breeze, perhaps even shade!" Eddy: "It's a cinch. We just need to get rid of Jonny!" farts and smiles as bubbles come out of his shorts. Edd and Eddy glare at him. ---- sun is beating down on the rocks as the Eds climb the cliff. Eddy: Ed, who is acting like a camel "Let's see. What'll we use to get melonhead off his perch? Explosives? Nah. A giant slingshot? Nope. A trapeze! Double D, that's it! We'll use a trapeze! He'll never know what hit him!" plotting "We'll lower some rope–and Ed, you can wear the tights." Edd: a particularly hot rock "Aaauughgh!" Ed: "A bar mitzvah." Eddy: "So anyway, you just swing over,–" Edd: "A trapeze? Please. Here's an idea, Eddy. Next time, let's just sit in an oven!" Eddy: "Why don't you do something useful? LIKE HURRY UP!" begins to shake with rage. ---- and Eddy look out at Jonny, who is sunbathing. Eddy: whispering "Pass me the trapeze, Ed!" Ed: "What?" brash and bold, walks across the top of the cliff. Eddy: "What's Sockhead doing?" takes out a whistle and rubs it with his hand then blows it. Jonny leaps up. Jonny: "I'm ready, coach!" runs to the edge of the cliff and jumps. On the way down, he performs an acrobatic maneuver and dives into the pool gracefully. Jonny: surfacing "Did I make the team, Plank?" Eddy: awe "Double D! That was pure genius!" Edd: "Can we move on? this heat is unbearable." stream of white liquid shoots by Edd. Ed has his foot on the sunscreen bottle and is squeezing the goo out. Ed: "The sound of a babbling brook makes me want to babble, Double D." Edd: "Was that Jonny's sunscreen?" Eddy: "Oh, this is perfect. Once Kevin moves, we'll just swoop in–we'll be kings of the swimming hole!" is desperately trying to shake some remnants of sunscreen into his palm. Edd: the empty bottle away "My kingdom for sunscreen." Eddy: "Ed, you be lookout." Ed: "One two buckle my shoe." gets into position and looks out over the beach. Eddy: "Mess with me, will he? Ha!" ---- sun has sunk low to the ground, temperatures have cooled, shadows have lengthened, and the kids are tired out from a day at the beach. Nazz leaves with a yawn, followed by Kevin, who is carrying back all his beach paraphernalia. Ed, at the top of the cliff, waves goodbye. Ed: "Seeya, Kevin!" Eddy: excited "Kevin leave? Woohoo! Took him long enough. Slug." Edd: "Assistance please. Assistance." is stretched out on the cliff, his body burned red from a day without sunscreen. Eddy: "What's with you?" Edd: "Mother nature is sssooooooooooo unforgiving." Ed: his arm "Come on, Double D." lifts Edd to a standing position. Edd: "Yowch! Don't touch me!" touches his face. "Ow! My face! Every nerve in the primary layers of skin are screaming, 'DOUBLE D, YOU NINCOMPOOP, YOU FORGOT THE SUNSCREEN!'" moves. "Yeowch!" Eddy: "You look a little sunburnt, Double D." Edd: gritted teeth "Don't toy with me, Eddy, I'll be shedding for weeks!" Eddy: "Welcome to the great outdoors, Nature Boy. What a whiner." realizes he's burned on his left side. Ed: "I am a lizard." is also half burnt. "I have changed colors! I have become Chameleon Man! Oink!" Edd: "Stay back!" prods his sensitive skin. "Ouch!" Ed: "Oink!" pokes Edd again. Edd: "Yahouch! Eddy, make him stop!" Eddy: "Cut it out–" Ed: "Oink!" prods Eddy. Eddy: "Ow!" Ed: "You can be my sidekick, Frogmouth Kid! And–and Double D is our butler, um...Double D!" decides to slap Ed's burnt back. Ed: "Oink!" pokes both of his friends. Edd and Eddy: "Ow!" hit back. Ed: "Oink!" pokes them again. Edd and Eddy: "Ow!" hit is returned. Ed: "Oink!" Edd and Eddy: "Ow!" Ed: "Oink oink! Oink oink!" Category:Season 2 Category:Season 2 Scripts